Newspaper Headlines

Actual headlines...

  1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert says.
  2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
  3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
  4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
  5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
  6. Farmer Bill Dies in House
  7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  8. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
  9. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
  10. Eye Drops off Shelf
  11. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
  12. Reagan Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead
  13. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
  14. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
  15. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
  16. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
  17. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
  18. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
  19. Stolen Painting Found By Tree
  20. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
  21. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
  22. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
  23. War Dims Hope for Peace
  24. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
  25. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  26. Couple Slain: Police Suspect Homicide
  27. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
  28. Deer Kill 17,000
  29. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
  30. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charges
  31. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
  32. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
  33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  34. Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping the Needy
  35. Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
  36. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
  37. Ban on Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
  38. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
  39. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
  40. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
  41. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
  42. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
  43. Air Head Fired
  44. Steals Clock, Faces Time
  45. Old School Pillars Are Replaced By Alumni
  46. Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
  47. Hospitals are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
  48. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
  49. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Back to Humor page.